“I have begun everything with the idea that I could succeed, and I never had much patience with the multitudes of people who are always ready to explain why they cannot succeed. I have always had a high regard for the man who could tell me how to succeed” – Booker T. Washington
In life there are no smooth paths on the road to success. There will be obstacles that come about. How you deal with those obstacles will determine your overall level of accomplishment. In order to properly deal with the obstacles that come about in your life, you must have the proper mindset. You have to have a “victor” mentality over and against a “victim” mentality.
A victim mentality is one in which every problem that comes about is a confirmation as to why one will never get ahead. They see the obstacle in front of them and, rather than do something about it, sit back and complain. A person with a victim mindset sees life as a series of obstacles keeping them down. It’s a mentality that paralyzes people rather than motivates them, and sadly, it is a mentality that is very prevalent in our culture.
A victor mentality is one in which, rather than see the obstacles as hinderances, a person sees the opportunity that can arise from the obstacle. A person with a victor mindset may notice the same obstacle as the person with a victim mindset. However, rather than allowing the obstacle to hold them back, they figure out a way to overcome it. To the person with a victor mentality, life is not a series of obstacles holding them back; it’s a series of opportunities waiting to be seized upon. A person with this type of mindset is not paralyzed by problems that come up, but motivated.
Another pitfall from having a victim mindset is that it keeps you from realizing your own gifts and talents. You become so focused on the problem in front of you that you completely overlook the talent within you designed to help you solve the problem.
To give a personal example, my oldest daughter was born without the fingers on her left hand. When we found out that she was going to be born without those fingers, we were devastated. How would having only one fully formed hand impact her life? Will she be able to have a normal life? How will kids treat her? Like most parents, we were worried. However, once she was born, and especially as she grew older, we realized that what she lacked in fingers, she possessed in intellect and personality. She is an amazingly gifted and outgoing person. When my wife and I saw those gifts that she was blessed with, we realized that whatever hinderances may come with having only one hand, she had the internal tools to overcome them. So, we focused on cultivating her gifts rather than focusing on the problems. As a result, our daughter has been able to thrive in spite of her hand. On top of skipping a grade, she can swim, ride a bike, and tie her own shoes. We’ve seen her figure out how to use her fingerless hand in ways that gave her the upper hand in different scenarios. What could have been something that became an excuse for the rest of her life is not that. That’s the advantage of a victor mindset over and against a victim mindset.
Having a victor mentality doesn’t mean that you live life completely oblivious to obstacles. It means that those obstacles won’t keep you from success. The more you lean into this mindset, the easier it is to deal with new obstacles when they come. Conversely, if you choose to lean into a victim mindset, even the smallest issues become impossible to deal with.
On this day, a choice lies in front of you: whether to have a victim mentality or whether to have a victor mentality. As I stated earlier, the obstacles are going to be there. However, only one mindset will ensure that you succeed in every endeavor regardless of the obstacle. If you want to have a life full of success regardless of the obstacles, choose to have a victor mentality.